In everyday life we see everyday people. Sometimes someone stands out of the crowd. Maybe it’s on purpose, maybe it’s on accident, maybe they can’t help it. Thing is we never really take the time to figure it out, why there is a change in the code. People nowadays have moved far from cookie cutter happiness to non conformity comfort. But since non conformity has become normal, then what is abnormal?
I work with the abnormalities of the world. The unwanted masses in the form of children. It’s been my lot in life for eleven years. So many lives have passed through my hands, when I think about the actual number I want to cry. Some of them are born into being abnormal and can probably someday be normal. Some are born poisoned and abnormal, they may seem normal in appearance but inside they are wired backward and upside down. They don’t understand they are different, they only know that people treat and tell them they are. Then you have the ones who have been raised by the broken and taken in to protect them, they are themselves broken. The system tries to use the tools at their disposal to find them solace in normal, the best most ever pull off is abnormal, some may even pull off fake normal.
Working with the broken, poisoned, and abnormal and being the buffer between them and all the world causes damage. I used to think I was normal at some point. But now I consider myself abnormally broken but trying. I haven’t suffered the way these wonderful little people have, I have only tried to help. But one does not pull so many out of the fire without getting burned.
I once sat for hours with one of my precious little ones after he passed in his sleep. I stared at his cold little hand and it caused a fissure so deep in my soul that I think it might never fill. I have saved a little one from death because no one knew he was dying and no one believed he was hurt. Seeing his face smile at me in the hospital filled the fissure a little.
I guess what I am saying is, normal and abnormal are relative terms. Everyone has a relative way of looking at what is normal and abnormal to them. I perceived myself as broke and moderately abnormal but I found someone who loves me for me. So life may be out of the norm and you may feel broken but there still might be a reason for you to keep soldiering on, because life’s traumas can also be followed by life’s surprises.
“Trauma by Proxy” by Rio Martin