On the Path to Divorce

Image taken from Bloomberg.com

I guess I haven’t stated why I was a single parent writer. The title is self explanatory but the story there is something else. Without throwing mud or anything like that because the fault for the separation lies on both sides. There were problems and we didn’t talk about them or if we talked about them, we didn’t fix them. So what started as a fine ship sailing the stormy seas of life soon became a battered dingy which somehow made it 14 years before it sank.
So, advice, well I got plenty. Don’t let problems sit on the counter like raw meat. It’ll rot and fester and then it will become a room no one goes into anymore because everyone always assumes the other person will clean the mess. Try and work through the issues together and united. That’s the reason for marriage, to become part of something bigger, a team, lovers, parents, and someday old loving couple. I won’t have that with her because we didn’t. We went on our own paths and didn’t unite like we should have on a lot of things.
Fight and argue. Do it, it’s healthy. You have to be able to argue. Don’t roll over and show your belly at everything because you don’t want to make her upset. Not saying something and letting it go will grow into resentment and resentment will kill the strongest marriage. Don’t just cater to her either. It’s a two way street. Love goes in and love should come out too. Also realize that you two will change over time due to the experiences you have with each other. Now I use he and she because that’s what my marriage was. But these rules are universal, they work in gay or straight marriages.
That’s what I got for now. I will talk more later about it. But just remember, if it hurts you, it will most likely hurt the other person. But not saying it could be the “great unsaid” between the both of you.



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